By Marnita Coleman Special to the AFRO
Raising children is a massive undertaking.
Parenting style influences the home and can have long-term effects on families and communities, even after a mother or father has died.
Parents frequently adjust their techniques to address their children’s concerns. What’s interesting is that parenting styles range from overly strict to overly relaxed. Many parents who want to raise happy, confident children are turning to gentle parenting, an evidence-based approach.
Gentle parenting is simply positive parenting rebranded for today’s families. It emphasises fundamental components such as empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries. These areas are established with your child’s intellect and age-appropriate development in mind. Instead of making demands, parents are gently and considerately allowing their children unique options by showing them respect, understanding, and protecting their boundaries.
“I used to despise having my activities interrupted and being summoned to immediate attention by my parents, who didn’t seem to mind that I was busy doing something. I felt so violated that when I became a parent, I vowed never to do anything like that again. I respected my children’s privacy and gave them a few moments to respond to my summons. “I’d wait patiently as long as they acknowledged hearing me,” Hadassah Teeh, a gentle parenting practitioner from West Baltimore, said.
A passage from the Bible suggests that gentle parenting is acceptable. Parents are chastised for harsh parenting styles and told to model positive traits so that their children will learn from them and follow the Lord’s ways. The Amplified Version of Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Amber Dortch, a licenced master social worker (LMSW) and school-based therapist, agrees that gentle parenting can be effective. She warns against using rose-colored glasses when implementing its parenting-style tenets in the Black community.
“I believe that gentle parenting is effective. “The only problem is that there are so many different traumas that are sometimes associated with parenting in the Black community,” Dortch explained. “Not only must the traumas of the children be addressed, but so must the traumas of the parents.”
“I also believe that it needs to be tailored to the socioeconomic status of the parent and what other needs may or may not be met in the home that could contribute to risky behaviours, such as children escaping, smoking, drinking, having sex everywhere, and skipping school. We must return and thoroughly evaluate the requirements of the family before implementing gentle parenting techniques and interventions.
The following prophetically encouraging words can be found in the lyrics of Whitney Houston’s late hit “Greatest Love of All”:
I believe the children are our future/
Teach them well and let them lead the way/
Show them all the beauty they possess inside/
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier/
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.
Each family’s experience with gentle parenting will be unique. The book “A Beginner’s Guide to Gentle Parenting” will teach you the fundamentals of implementing the process in your home.
Marnita Coleman is an Owings Mills, Md. journalist, international music specialist, voice actor, and owner of Sought Out International. She is a regular contributor to the AFRO’s #Faithworks Newsletter.