by Rina Risper
Dr. Daneen Skube’s Q: I keep trying to keep hope alive when things at work get worse, but it just gets worse. How can I maintain my optimism as my circumstances worsen? How can I be effective when my hopes for change are fading? A: “Get busy with life’s purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue,” advised Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and a Stoic philosopher. Many people see hope as the solution, but clinging to hope often means refusing to act.
The gods give Pandora a box and tell her not to open it in the mythology of Pandora’s Box. When Pandora opens it, all the world’s ills fall out. Hope is the last thing to fly out of the box.
Hope is presented as the antidote to suffering in Pandora’s story. As a counsellor and consultant, I’ve noticed that hope may be one of the human adversities that escaped from that box. We wait when we hope. We don’t learn, strategize, or innovate when we wait. We suffer while we wait for our circumstances to change. As a result, hope frequently prolongs suffering rather than motivating us to change and innovate.
Keep in mind that hoping is not a strategy. Hope can inspire us to act, but it is our responsibility to do so. Hope can also provide comfort in the knowledge that our circumstances will improve. Some people believe that others are luckier than they are. However, no one is born with good fortune. Luck favours planning, perseverance, and a clear vision of the end goal. When we see where we want to go and take the next step every day, we are on our way to success. Those who sit by the side of the road, hoping for their white knight to come and save them, get dusty as they watch others take action.
If we choose to sit and hope, we will become bitter and resentful that fortune did not favour us.
Try writing all of your future hopes on the left side of a piece of paper. Write down every action you’ve taken to make your dream a reality on the right side. Is there a disconnect between your actions and your hopes? Return to your room and devise a plan to save yourself. Your rescue plans should include requesting assistance. In good times, make sure you’re benefiting your coworkers and connecting with people you trust. Many people believe that desperation is the mother of invention. I believe that the death of hope is the place where personal power is born.
Once hope has created a mirage of what we desire in the distance, we must walk across our own scorching deserts to reach that shimmering dream. Because hope is passive, it can cause us to doubt our own resourcefulness, resiliency, and problem-solving abilities. If you’re going to gamble in this mortal world, it should be on your ability to create (at some point) what you want. There are jokes that successful people are often people who aren’t smart enough to give up, and these jokes hold a lot of truth. If you want proof, read biographies of people you admire and see how many obstacles they overcame. Use hope to inspire a course of action, then get busy taking those steps.
“We are the ones we have been waiting for,” says a Hopi prophecy. Be the one you’ve been waiting for and you’ll never have to wait again!
Executive coach, trainer, therapist, and speaker Daneen Skube, Ph.D. “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything,” is her novel (Hay House, 2006) Dr. Skube can be reached at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd, #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. There will be no personal responses.